Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
