I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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