my vag is so smooth its legendary
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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