i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
