so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
