We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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