You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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