Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
