Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
