There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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