You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
