when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sober January is a disaster.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
