I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
