I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
