Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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