So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize