Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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