you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
