Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was confusing and full of hummus
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
