What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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