We're like a lot better than the average bears
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
