what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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