ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
