my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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