I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
