Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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