you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she peed on how many people?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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