hotel room ftw
id be glad to
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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