that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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