I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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