Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
