Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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