We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
