my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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