My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
