I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
