I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
