it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
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I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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