Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I didn't notice because vodka
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
