I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
