If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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