took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My ass is underappreciated
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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