I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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