I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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