1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
