I could make wine with my vomit
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
