So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder