i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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