We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
