Someone shit on the floor
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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