Screwed.edu
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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