Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
