My nipple is on Facebook.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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