Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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