he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
