I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
