Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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