This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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