Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
